The story I’ve inherited from my ancestors is one of strength and unity. Of pride and solidarity. Of water, clay, mud, powder, oil, duality. Soft chests to lay on and hard backs to bear the brunt of the weight for many people and for too long. Intelligent minds and bodies, bodies that disconnect from emotions but still exhale the essence of all the troubled feelings and the muddied waters. The breath becomes partially trapped, never having the luxury of breathing in for too long or exhaling fully, particles of anger, fear, doubt, determination, resolve, resignation, steeliness get trapped in the chest, belly, organs, neck only to be softened by the small miracles of daily life that hold a seed of the promise. The particles get soothed down to a fine dust and washed out with love and care. A house built for my grandmother. A dream house that my own mother can finally gift herself with after thirty years of long nights, early mornings, Sunday dinners, crying jags, and spates of laughter and togetherness. A place of one’s own, owning something - that is part of my family’s legacy. They have always been intent on owning the place they lay their head, having a roof to offer another in need, having a lot and some to spare. Giving of themselves with their time, their money, their presence; sharing over food, music, and company of all ages.
This is the part of my inheritance that is resonating with me now. My journey has taken me from reflecting on my family like fragmented pieces of glass to seeing all of us like a crystal. We are reflective, dynamic, at times distorted when our perceptions are not clear, always whole and one. 2016 is a powerful closing of a ten-year cycle for me during a time when it became clear to me that everything I was experiencing, every decision I enacted, was to come to a closer integration of my self. My spirit, joining with the spirit of my ancestors and Source, has been calling me to recognize myself without the veil. I had a dream not too long ago of myself standing in front of a wall that was not really a wall, it was a thin veil and when I woke up, I knew the next part of my journey was simply to walk through to the other side and to have the vision of both sides. This is the part of my journey that I’m in now. Writing in my sketchbook/journal last year, I drew a spiral and lines that shot up from the center of the spiral and I was scaling the walls of the side… I have spent ten* years going inside very deeply. (*Likely, I’ve been inside in this way for much more of my life than not). That drawing was symbolic to me of the climb I’m making up and to the outside of myself, to reach others and to show/share myself through dance, yoga, writing and so much more that I have yet to envision and channel...I am here. I am we. We are here and we are whole.
This is the part of my inheritance that is resonating with me now. My journey has taken me from reflecting on my family like fragmented pieces of glass to seeing all of us like a crystal. We are reflective, dynamic, at times distorted when our perceptions are not clear, always whole and one. 2016 is a powerful closing of a ten-year cycle for me during a time when it became clear to me that everything I was experiencing, every decision I enacted, was to come to a closer integration of my self. My spirit, joining with the spirit of my ancestors and Source, has been calling me to recognize myself without the veil. I had a dream not too long ago of myself standing in front of a wall that was not really a wall, it was a thin veil and when I woke up, I knew the next part of my journey was simply to walk through to the other side and to have the vision of both sides. This is the part of my journey that I’m in now. Writing in my sketchbook/journal last year, I drew a spiral and lines that shot up from the center of the spiral and I was scaling the walls of the side… I have spent ten* years going inside very deeply. (*Likely, I’ve been inside in this way for much more of my life than not). That drawing was symbolic to me of the climb I’m making up and to the outside of myself, to reach others and to show/share myself through dance, yoga, writing and so much more that I have yet to envision and channel...I am here. I am we. We are here and we are whole.
